More from Maxfield

I apologize for this extra long blog post. I apparently did not post it for two weeks ago, but you will definitely be able to tell the difference in my experience and conundrum.

At the halfway point of my work at Maxfield, I am stuck in an interesting position. I am really pleased to share with you all that my relationship with the boys in my class has really become strong. From the beginning, it has been pretty apparent that they prefer me over the paid worker, mostly because she needs to issue ultimatums and punishment to get them to work, while I have been the fun guy who helps them out with their math, teaches them “tricks,” and also plays basketball with them during choice time. Though all of that has stayed the same, they have seemed to become more attached to me. The last two weeks, they were really excited to see me after the two week break from ACES. They were more than excited than normal when my colleague and I came in, and, while they were working on their homework, Ernest came up to me and started asking me about his science class. This was a first, and it was a bit more alarming because ACES only really addresses math and reading. But really, I was quite glad that he was comfortable enough to come to me and ask me straightaway. So I really feel like my role, for these few boys, seems to be growing.
But, on the flip side, I really feel like my role with the girls has not progressed. It’s not that they don’t follow directions or heed my advice when I work with them one on one. They just seem to be far less comfortable with me than the boys do. For instance, the boys always are more than willing to get up and come over to me and ask me questions when they are stuck, whereas the girls will just sit and not do anything if they are stuck or, far more frequently, they go on to distract the rest of their peers. This is where one of my perceptions changed during this program. I thought it would take longer for me to bond with the boys in the class than it would be with the girls. Given the fact that I have a younger sister and my two best friends are girls, I thought that I would be able to connect with them quickest. I was also under the impression that an older guy in the class may intimidate the boys, therefore making our connection more difficult to establish. Needless to say, both of these theories were completely and totally wrong. What should I do to help my connection with the girls? I really don’t want to only be effective with the boys, with the girls not gaining anything from my being in the program. I really hope that somehow I can sort this out. I want to be helpful for all of the kids in my class, both the guys and the girls.

Now on to the current blog post.

My major concern that I had when I addressed the group as a whole was that my connection with the girls in my class was far less involved than my connection with the boys. The week after I had this conversation with my peers, I attempted to use their insights to try and close this gap.
After the first two and a half hours, I witnessed this gap close, but not in the way I was hoping. Instead of the level of my relationship with the girls rising to meet the boys’ level, the exact opposite occurred. They were unsettled and distracted all day, and when I tried to get them back on task they wouldn’t have any of it. A major launching point for this behavior was the appearance of Hamarian, a boy in their 5th grade class who has been suspended from after-school programming since a time before my arrival at Maxfield. The boys seem to rally around him. He is intelligent, athletic and more physically mature than his peers, and what’s worse is that he knows it. He flies through his homework at the beginning of the session, and instead of constructively helping his peers, like Ernest has in the past, Hamarian prefers to use his free time to distract the other boys. So instead of being focused on becoming more involved with the boys, I spent my whole day trying to find a way to work with Hamarian, and my results proved to be futile.
One week later, I came into class ready to get involved with the girls while trying to find a way to get Hamarian to accept me as an authority figure. The fifth-graders had just completed a state mandated day of testing, so we knew the workload would be light and the rest of the instructors and I all agreed that allowing the students to relax after the testing would be more beneficial than the normal program. Additionally, a different after school program had changed it’s schedule to include Tuesdays. It is a program that is geared toward the boys, however Hamarian was still suspended from participating in it, so he stayed at ACES with the girls.
For the first thirty minutes, he acted out more vigorously than he had in the previous week, so my fellow instructor and I had to remove him from the rest of the class to cool off. In the mean time, I was able to interact with the girls in a more relaxed setting, playing hangman and building a “house”. I felt like my connection with the girls may have grown as a result, but I will know more about that after my session this upcoming Tuesday. Additionally, Hamarian saw how much fun we were having and elected to join in. He was actually very constructive and helped the group solve the word puzzle on more than one occasion. I was able to conclude that, in order for Hamarian to be an active asset in the class, I will need to find a way for him to come to me and interact on his terms, while still remaining within the constraints of a system where I am an authority figure.
One interesting incidental learning experience I have had from my placement is that the students separate classroom interaction from choice time interaction quite starkly. Additionally, some of the more involved instructors prefer to stand away from the group while the kids are playing and observe, rather than get into the activity with their students. It’s interesting that they can be so active in the classroom, but once we get outside, these great instructors seem to care much less about working with their students.